He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
