my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
