I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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