I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
