Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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