I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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