I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
