Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
