So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
