i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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