A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
