I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
