I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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