Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
