ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
