I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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