Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
