they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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