ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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