my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
