Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
