That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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