I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
