Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
