Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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