Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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