Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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