Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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