I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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