Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
