just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
