So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She told me I should be a condom model.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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