Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What drink are we having for lunch?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
