There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
