Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
