so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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