It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
