How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
