It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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