Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
