She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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