ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
