You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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