don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
