how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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