i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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