You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
