Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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