Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
