Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
